I Must be Doing Something Right

They say if you have haters, you're doing something right. I must have inadvertently stumbled into this because I'm not trying to do anything. And yet, over the past 6 months, I've had to deal with some crazy stuff. Specifically, it's jealous women who keep trying to either bring drama into my peaceful existence or to intimidate me into ceasing contact with a guy they like.

Bitches be crazy when it comes to a guy they like. Seriously......I've been through junior high once and I'm not nostalgic for it at all.

Besides being incredibly annoyed by having psycho girls delete me from a friend's account or send me unsolicited messages or blatantly telling me to "STOP" on a friend's facebook wall, I'm utterly perplexed by why others tolerate such childish and insane behavior. If this is what men look for in a partner, count me out!

These girls need to have some respect as females and act with a bit of grace and decorum.....even when it's difficult. Don't think that I didn't come up with a dozen catty responses to post.....the difference is, I know that's not my style and it wouldn't garner any result that I'd want so I kept them to myself. Life is all about choices and I'm trying my damnedest to choose a wise path.

Yes, I've lost guys to many of these psycho girls over the years, but when it's said and done, if that's the kind of girl they like, (to quote Bob Dylan) "It ain't me you're looking for, babe".

Don't YOU Forget about Me!

If you were expecting a post about John Hughes, the Breakfast Club or my beloved 80s music, I'm sorry to disappoint you but if you bear with me for this blog, I'll make it up to you with my next post!

Through the magic of social networking, I heard about a job opening with a local company. I sent my resume and had an enjoyable first interview. I really, really want to be called in for a second interview, but I find myself in an interesting predicament.

My interview was the first Friday of June. During the interview I was told there were a couple of other candidates to interview but they wouldn't be scheduling those interviews until the 3rd week of June. Having sent a followup email last week, I find myself wondering what I could do to show my continued interest in this job without seeming pushy.

Given my culinary talents, I thought about sending a batch of my addictive-you-can't-eat-just-one cookies, but that might seem like a bribe.

I could send another email just touching base to keep me fresh in their minds while they decide who they will call in for a second interview, but that just seems boring.

I've worked in marketing and promotions for most of my post-college career so my brain just naturally gravitates towards networking and marketing, so I've decided to use my predicament as an exercise in using social networking as personal marketing.

I need your help!

Please take the time to visit my "Don't Forget about Heather" page on facebook and click "Like". AND....if you really think I deserve a second interview, suggest the page to your friends. It's not just that I need to find a job, but rather the excitement I feel when I think about working for this company. Hopefully, I'll get a chance to be a part of that!

Sorry You're Uncomfortable: Language Should be Deliberate

As a life-long, avid reader I am partial to words and vocabulary. Pair that with my keen intuition and you'll have a road map to most of my relationships. I couldn't begin to count the number of times I've intuited the uneasiness of a partner/friend/colleague and took the initiative and bypassed the uncomfortable conversation they were dreading. In short, I give an easy way out because I know how to be very deliberate with my language.

I feel everyone could and should be more deliberate with the language we use. I've written about my struggle to use the words "want" and "need" correctly. Those words are not synonymous and "need" is used far too often in place of "want".

But, I digress. What has my ire up is an unexpected "poke" I received notice of via Facebook. If you and I haven't communicated in 5 months, "poking" me on Facebook isn't going to open back up the lines of communication between us. I know I could make it easy, more hospitable even, if I would just "poke" you back, but after a decade of making every situation between you and I easy for YOU, I'm drawing another line. Where we stand is a direct result of the choices YOU made, so if you want to communicate with me, you must address some of these issues.

Sorry if that makes you uncomfortable. It's your turn to bridge the gap.

Facebook: A Love/Hate Relationship

I joined facebook several years ago....long before many my age, because of the prompting of a younger co-worker (shout out to J-Ho!). Back then it wasn't as user-friendly to the older generation, but I persevered because I'm not a quitter (usually).

Because my 20 year high school reunion is coming up, there has been a veritable flood of people my age joining the facebook ranks and I've enjoyed getting back in touch with old friends and forging new found friendships with acquaintances.

But, facebook can be a double-edged sword. Social networking and the internet in general has really diminished the distance and boundaries of generations past and I find many of the reasons I love facebook are also the reasons I hate facebook.

I LOVE the convenience of being able to keep up with many people from a central location.
I HATE the narrowness of my internet use since I can keep up with so many people from a central location.

I LOVE that I can control who sees what I post to my profile.
I HATE that I can't control what people see of my posts to friend's profiles

I LOVE to discover friends from another friend's list.
I HATE that others can discover friend's from my friend list.

I LOVE when the facebook IM function works and I can contact people instantly.
I HATE when the facebook IM function doesn't work.

You can see where I'm going with this and I could go on and on........I really do LOVE how accessible people are, but tonight, there's something I HATE more than ANYthing facebook has given me. More than once, in the past 2 weeks, facebook has been the vehicle which has dropped drama right on my virtual doorstep......and if you know me, you know I have absolutely NO tolerance for drama. Seriously........I'm almost 40 years old and I think it's asinine to have one of my relatives call me because they have been contacted by a girl telling them they think I might like their man.

What??? Are we in the 3rd grade? Chances are, if I accepted someone as a friend on facebook, it's safe to assume I like said person. But......if my "man" were on facebook, and I thought someone was putting the moves on him, I would talk to HIM about that......not the other girl's relative. But....again, I'm almost 40, have no use for drama and believe direct communication is the best approach when in a relationship (whether it's a romantic relationship or a friendship).....unlike the drama llama who is trying to disturb my groove when I just want a peaceful existence.

Accentuating the Positive

It's that time of year where so many people are writing "end of the year" blogs and lists. Let me be the first to say, "I'm ready to see 2008 to the door!" and have nothing but warm welcome for 2009. I'm expecting a better year. Shouldn't be too hard to meet that expectation as the bar is so low if it's based solely on 2008.

But, even though I'm not sad to see this year come to a quiet close, I feel I should mention the good things that happened in 2008.

Traveling to the Atlantic coast in both North and South Carolina......such beautiful places! Having grown up in a land-locked state, I love to see and hear the ocean any chance I get.

Watching my oldest nephew, Tyler, graduate from high school. He's such a fine young man and I'm so proud of him!

Being true to my word and ending a seven-year relationship because it was no longer the right thing for me.

So many good times with friends.....and usually involving karaoke!

So much good music in the world........it really does lift my mood to listen to music I love! I'm glad to have discovered Julia Nunes and Ingrid Michaleson this year. I'm also glad that Zooey Deschanel is part of the duo, She & Him. I love her voice and am glad to hear more from her!!

I'm happy to have discovered Josh "the Ponceman" Perry and his YouTube serial, The Retarded Policeman. Before you jump to conclusions based on the title of the show, you need to go HERE to read my previous blog about this incredible actor who never fails to put a smile on my face and laughter on my lips! So important to me these days!

Meeting Sugar D......I had no idea how important he would turn out to be, but he has been my northern star which constantly helps me navigate the ups and downs of my journey through unemployment.

I'm healthy and happy.

My parents came to my rescue and helped me by paying for much needed car repairs and don't expect me to pay them back until I'm back on my feet again........thank God for parents who love unconditionally and who will always be Poppy and Lovey Mom for me no matter how old I get!

All of the sweet and marvelous things my friends have said and done for me the last few weeks. I hate to name people because I will probably leave someone out and I don't want to make anyone mad.....but I want to mention a few! Jessica, Jessican, Rebeckah, Kelly, Holly, Amy, Andy, Jeff, Shannen and Sugar D for checking on me on a regular basis and giving me encouragement!
There are so many peeps on Facebook who have been so very encouraging.....because there are too many to name, you can go HERE and look at them if you like.

So......that's my short but very important list of good things from 2008. Let the countdown to 2009 begin!