Tuesday, December 8, 2009

It Is Done

I've been going through some old writing and I found this "gem" which was written about Pepe almost a decade ago. It made me chuckle while reading it and I decided to share it (and the laughs).

It is done--
I threw caution to the wind
through a crack in the window!

How quickly the wind died
and came the deathly calm and silence.

The peace I formerly craved
now envelopes me
and I am inconsolable.

My mind races--
desperate to recapture
what has moved away on the breeze

But, no matter how fast I go,
I can't seem to catch that Elusive Wind
which has carried my hopes away.

Monday, December 7, 2009

What a Difference a Year Makes!

It's odd how, on the surface, my current circumstances resemble last year. I'm currently unemployed......with no great prospects on the horizon. I have a lot fewer resources than last year (even with a roommate......who has turned out to be more expensive than helpful). However, despite the seeming gloominess of the situation, I'm happy. Happier than I've been in a long time. A few months ago I mentioned in a blog how I wished I could just sell everything I owned and travel........but my virgo sensibilities kept me from being able to do that. Where would I get money? How could I make it? Today, it seems so much more feasible. I think I got too wrapped up in the tangible things and thought those things were what created my "life", but that's so far from the truth. It's the little things like watching my nieces and nephews laugh and play together, getting a text from my 5 year old goddaughter sent via her mother. Knowing I have family and friends who love and understand me. And knowing things can always be worse, and for many others, things are worse.

It would probably horrify most of my friends if they knew how close to being homeless I am. But, something in the universe keeps bringing me back to this place and I can't ignore there must be a reason why......something I didn't learn the first time I was here. So, I'm trying to be still and listen for the lessons I'm meant to gain from this time in my life.

On a more bloggy note, I noticed yesterday I averaged a blog a week for 2008.......I'm well behind that pace for 2009. I'm contemplating trying to blog just a little a day to make up for it, but I probably won't unless I feel I have something I want to write.

I hope this post doesn't come across as a downer. For how I'm feeling is so far from it. I have so many blessings in my life for which to be thankful. My life is full of family and friends.........and I'm not chained to a job I hate!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

I Took the Road Less Traveled (IMO)

A year ago I posted a blog about my "Psycho Girl Theory", a problem which has perplexed me for years. [follow the hyperlink to read my "theory"]

Because of my inability to manifest any incarnation of the "psycho girl" I felt there were instances (several, in fact) where I lost the guy. Don't get me wrong.......deep down, I really believe if a man is capable of caving in the face of histrionics (or incapable of resiting it), he's NOT the man for me.

It is with extreme tentativeness I write this blog but, [drum roll, please] after almost 9 years of taking the high road, minding my p's and q's and conducting myself in a manner in which I can always look myself in the mirror and know I was true to what I believe to my very core.......brace yourselves.......it appears I have beaten the psycho girl.

Despite all the distractions (ahem....other men) which have entered my life in the last 18 months, I found myself returning to one I never intended to see after the night we met. Almost 9 years later and I really, really can't ignore the easy, comfortable connection I have with this man.

I'm not sure what the future holds for me where he is concerned, but for the first time, I feel like I have a chance. And, although I can't fake some sort of infantile fit to secure a man's affections, I have learned to not be so passive with revealing my feelings.

So.....here it is for the blogosphere: I really, really like this man and want him to be in my life as long as possible. Sorry, if you were expecting a declaration of love. I do love him in many ways, but prefer to keep those revelations between he and I.....he's just that important to me and I've been wrong to not freely admit it.

WHEW! I feel much better now with the record having been set straight! If anyone is interested in my Soul Mate Theory, you can read about it HERE

Better Late than Never.....Right?!?

I've been so lax about editing the TONS of video I have from Talent Quest Nationals. I have 2 more edited and am working my way through the rest. I will most likely just keep adding the newly edited footage here instead of a new, devoted blog for each group.

Sorry for the delay, folks! Keep checking back for the new footage!

Jenny Diehl, Semi-Final Round, Pop Female, 2nd Place Nationals:

Jimmy Tighe 2, Round 2: