Saturday, February 27, 2010

Absolute Self-Indulgence

Wednesday was a tough day for me.
I hate not being able to write the blog I need to write. *

And yet, I'm trying.

I miss him.
I miss talking to him everyday.
I miss the ease with which our conversation would flow.
I miss saying the same things at the same time
I miss his bottom lip.
I feel bad for missing his bottom lip, as though it's not allowed.
I miss having lunch with him.
I miss 7 AM meetings.

I miss him.
I miss him and I feel bad bad about missing him
as if it's wrong and unacceptable to miss that which was such a large part of my daily life for over a year.
Past meetings, conversations and touches are all good memories for me.
I feel bad that my good memories are painful reminders to him.
I feel helpless and tolerated
I'm jealous of those women
[single women]
who get to enjoy his friendship while I'm not allowed.
I miss him and don't want to feel bad that my missing him
will be misinterpreted and mistaken for something it's not.

I'm broken.
It's harmless.
I miss him.

*[to the inconsiderate and foolish person who approached him before and made him feel threatened.....I know what you said to him (as if he and I are not still close enough he wouldn't tell me about it) and if it happens again, prepare for your world to change drastically. You got a free pass the first time, but I will not tolerate a second indiscretion on your part.]

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Effectuating Change

Effectuating change. Is that really possible?

I believe so.

Maybe it's my optimistic view of the world which makes me think it's possible, but I really do believe all the small things one does to make the world a better place add up. Given recent circumstances in my life, I've become much more aware of those in need of help. I was fortunate to have parents who taught me the "Golden Rule" when I was little. It's such a basic concept, but so very true. If everyone would treat others the way they wanted to be treated, this world would be a better place.

Even with all the bad breaks I've had the past six months, all those things are temporary. I wake up healthy everyday and for that I'm so thankful. So many aren't that fortunate.

My friend, Nick Simpson, is doing his part to make this world a better place. He's part of a team of cyclists who will be riding from Houston to Austin in April to raise money and awareness for Multiple Sclerosis. This is a cause which hits close to home for me because my dear brother-in-law has an aunt who has been living with MS for decades. He also had an uncle who lived with MS for years before losing his battle.

Instead of trying to describe the many ways MS affects and afflicts those who have it, I will provide links to the National MS Society's page. But first, I'd like to make a personal request:

If you and your loved ones are healthy, please take a moment to visit Nick's donation page and consider making a donation. You can donate any amount you'd like.....even if it's as little as $1.00. Click HERE for Nick's page. You can see his goal and watch his progress towards it.

Thank you in advance for considering a donation. To learn more about MS. Click HERE. Knowledge is power.