Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Facebook: A Love/Hate Relationship

I joined facebook several years ago....long before many my age, because of the prompting of a younger co-worker (shout out to J-Ho!). Back then it wasn't as user-friendly to the older generation, but I persevered because I'm not a quitter (usually).

Because my 20 year high school reunion is coming up, there has been a veritable flood of people my age joining the facebook ranks and I've enjoyed getting back in touch with old friends and forging new found friendships with acquaintances.

But, facebook can be a double-edged sword. Social networking and the internet in general has really diminished the distance and boundaries of generations past and I find many of the reasons I love facebook are also the reasons I hate facebook.

I LOVE the convenience of being able to keep up with many people from a central location.
I HATE the narrowness of my internet use since I can keep up with so many people from a central location.

I LOVE that I can control who sees what I post to my profile.
I HATE that I can't control what people see of my posts to friend's profiles

I LOVE to discover friends from another friend's list.
I HATE that others can discover friend's from my friend list.

I LOVE when the facebook IM function works and I can contact people instantly.
I HATE when the facebook IM function doesn't work.

You can see where I'm going with this and I could go on and on........I really do LOVE how accessible people are, but tonight, there's something I HATE more than ANYthing facebook has given me. More than once, in the past 2 weeks, facebook has been the vehicle which has dropped drama right on my virtual doorstep......and if you know me, you know I have absolutely NO tolerance for drama. Seriously........I'm almost 40 years old and I think it's asinine to have one of my relatives call me because they have been contacted by a girl telling them they think I might like their man.

What??? Are we in the 3rd grade? Chances are, if I accepted someone as a friend on facebook, it's safe to assume I like said person. But......if my "man" were on facebook, and I thought someone was putting the moves on him, I would talk to HIM about that......not the other girl's relative. But....again, I'm almost 40, have no use for drama and believe direct communication is the best approach when in a relationship (whether it's a romantic relationship or a friendship).....unlike the drama llama who is trying to disturb my groove when I just want a peaceful existence.


lani michele said...

Hi lady! You CAN control who sees your friends list. In fact, you can block certain people from seeing your list and anything else on your page. Go to Settings, then Profile Privacy. Under each drop down menu, there is a "Customize" option.

To block a person from seeing anything on your page, go to Settings, Account, then "manage" under Privacy!


Judson said...

Was it me? did someone call your relatives because they thought you were making the moves on me? Who was it? My sister? My cousin in California? The woman formerly known as my step-mother? Who did they call? Missy? Your Mom?

stargurrl13 said...

Lani......thanks, I know about that....and I have it blocked. It's just one of the things I hated while learning the ins and out of facebook over the years.

The bad thing about the drama llama is she could see the friends we have in common.....one of them being the relative I mentioned. She made a b-liine to interrogate him about me. NOT COOL!

stargurrl13 said...

Judson, I'll tell you all about it when you get home. I'm not giving details here because, unlike the drama llama, I don't want to start any drama for HER.......wow, what a concept, huh?

Jennifer said...

It's too bad that a number of people who use facebook, myspace, twitter, texts, and IM's don't know what direct communication is. Or they think those things are direct communication.