"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" George Santayana
I spent a good portion of my weekend reading through archived emails, messages, IMs and texts from a few past boyfriends. Maybe I'm the only one who keeps correspondence anymore, but just because there are no hard-copy notes and letters these days doesn't mean there isn't a digital version of the stack of letters bound by a ribbon at the end of a relationship.
For the most part, I forget this correspondence is there, but it's good to know I can revisit these things if I ever feel the need. This past week, I've been pushed in the direction of my virtual breakup boxes and have blown the dust (some dustier than others) off the lids and started reading.
I won't lie. Much of it was torturous. But, it was also nice to see that there were plenty of good times worth remembering. And, although it shouldn't have been surprising to me, I was shocked to see such a distinct pattern to the flow of things with Pepe, Sugar D and Baby Boy. It's true that there are times one can't see the forest for the trees and the past 15 years have been dark times in the forbidden forest for me!
But, for as much torture as it was to read through the correspondence, it was equally liberating. Things have changed and I'm on a clear path. It's one that makes me happier than I've been in years and one that I prefer to keep mostly to myself because I'm selfish and I refuse to share it with anyone else. I've sealed the archives once again, but it's good to know they are there so I won't keep repeating the past.
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
New Direction
After 6 months of unemployment, I started a new job yesterday. It's only a part-time job an pays only a fraction of what I've been used to making for the last decade, but I've never been happier.
I really didn't write much of my unemployment this time around and I'm not sure why, but I suspicion it had to do more with my outlook than anything. Simply put, I wasn't scared, unhappy, depressed or any of the things one would think came part and parcel with the territory. I really feel it was the best way for me to discern the path I need to take; the new direction.
One of the things which really concerned me during my lean months was the type and quality of foods available [read: affordable] while on a very limited budget. I know I'm guilty of having looked into other carts at the grocery store and thinking, "you wouldn't be overweight if you didn't fill your basket with crap". However, I've changed my opinion. I'm sure there are some who eat junk no matter what their income, but the sad reality is most can't afford the healthy things such as fresh produce and whole grain breads.
Even going to a fast food establishment one sees the same trend. A double cheeseburger is available for $1.00 but a salad (made from iceberg lettuce at that) is $5.00! It doesn't take an advanced mathematician to figure out which economic class is eating the double cheeseburger. And I'm not even going to start on how the very class who either doesn't have health insurance or can't afford it are those most likely to need it once their arteries are caked with plaque because they had to survive by eating meals picked from the dollar menus!
But, I digress.
I've had six months to witness firsthand the challenges faced by countless Americans each day. During those times I was thankful to know my situation was temporary, but my heart was so convicted about how much actual wealth I had squandered over the years. So, I'm switching gears and my life has a new direction. Even this blog has taken a new direction during the last half year and I appreciate those who have stuck with me as I discover the new path. [and, if you miss the fluffier reading, feel free to check out my other blog As Seen in the 405!]
Trying to tie this up and connect the dots, I resisted taking a job which was only part-time. This particular job was dangled in front of me almost 2 months before I acted on it. But, now I feel it's absolutely where I needed to be, for lots of reasons. I really want to do something to make my community a better place. I know I don't have much to give monetarily, but my heart and my drive is full and ready to give, so I'm exploring ways to start some sort of community garden which will, hopefully, make fresh produce affordable to those who need it most. Working part time is going to give me that opportunity and I couldn't be happier about it.
Watch for more info about the community garden as I learn and work through the process. I can't change the world, but I'm going to do my damnedest to make a difference where I live!
I really didn't write much of my unemployment this time around and I'm not sure why, but I suspicion it had to do more with my outlook than anything. Simply put, I wasn't scared, unhappy, depressed or any of the things one would think came part and parcel with the territory. I really feel it was the best way for me to discern the path I need to take; the new direction.
One of the things which really concerned me during my lean months was the type and quality of foods available [read: affordable] while on a very limited budget. I know I'm guilty of having looked into other carts at the grocery store and thinking, "you wouldn't be overweight if you didn't fill your basket with crap". However, I've changed my opinion. I'm sure there are some who eat junk no matter what their income, but the sad reality is most can't afford the healthy things such as fresh produce and whole grain breads.
Even going to a fast food establishment one sees the same trend. A double cheeseburger is available for $1.00 but a salad (made from iceberg lettuce at that) is $5.00! It doesn't take an advanced mathematician to figure out which economic class is eating the double cheeseburger. And I'm not even going to start on how the very class who either doesn't have health insurance or can't afford it are those most likely to need it once their arteries are caked with plaque because they had to survive by eating meals picked from the dollar menus!
But, I digress.
I've had six months to witness firsthand the challenges faced by countless Americans each day. During those times I was thankful to know my situation was temporary, but my heart was so convicted about how much actual wealth I had squandered over the years. So, I'm switching gears and my life has a new direction. Even this blog has taken a new direction during the last half year and I appreciate those who have stuck with me as I discover the new path. [and, if you miss the fluffier reading, feel free to check out my other blog As Seen in the 405!]
Trying to tie this up and connect the dots, I resisted taking a job which was only part-time. This particular job was dangled in front of me almost 2 months before I acted on it. But, now I feel it's absolutely where I needed to be, for lots of reasons. I really want to do something to make my community a better place. I know I don't have much to give monetarily, but my heart and my drive is full and ready to give, so I'm exploring ways to start some sort of community garden which will, hopefully, make fresh produce affordable to those who need it most. Working part time is going to give me that opportunity and I couldn't be happier about it.
Watch for more info about the community garden as I learn and work through the process. I can't change the world, but I'm going to do my damnedest to make a difference where I live!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Am I The Eternal Optimist?
(This is a recent posting from my other blog....sorry to those who have already read it)
I've been accused many times in my life of being silly or frivolous and maybe there have been times when it was true, but more often than not, it was unbridled optimism and enthusiasm that was mistaken for frivolity.
I don't know if I was born optimistic or if it was a trait my incredibly wise mother gradually instilled in me. Most likely it was a mixture of both....the old heredity vs. environment debate. One day I'll write a blog about my mom and her incredible wisdom, but today I'm writing about happiness and finding it when you need it most.
Despite the trouble I've had with my home over the past year and a half, my home is my place of peace and refuge for me. When I need to get away from the stress of the world, that's where I want to be. But, on those rare occasions where my mood turns dark, I pick myself up and get out of the house........I don't want to have bad feelings associated with my time at home, but in turn, I think getting out of the house and finding something to do helps improve my mood so it's a win/win situation!
Once I'm out the door, wondering where to go, this is how I determine what I'll do. I ask myself, "What makes me happy?" And then I do those things. What amazes me, is when I ask other people what makes them happy.....many don't know how to respond. How can that be? (See, even now I'm dumbfounded) Life is what you make it and you can't always wait for happiness to knock on your door......you have to go where you (hopefully) already know it can be found. Here are some of the things that make me happy and where you might find me when I need a little more happiness than usual.
-Glass.....something about the transparency, I think. I'm lucky to live in a city with the largest permanent collection of Dale Chihuly glass. A trip to the OKC Museum will quickly put a smile on my face.
-Roller Skating- I keep my skates in the trunk of my car because I never know when I'll need to roll!
-Books/reading- I might end up at a park with a blanket and a book or at B&N where I can read and have coffee.....either does the trick.
-Family- All of my family is special to me but specifically my nieces and nephews. Nothing cheers me up like talking to them. Hearing them say "I love you" makes everything right with the world.
-Friends- many's the time I've spent long days hangin' with Jess and her family (which is almost like being with family). Anytime spent with a good friend is a good time and I'm blessed to have some incredible friends who always make me happy!
-Singing/Music- whether I sing at the top of my lungs to music in my car or I go for some karaoke, music always sooths my soul.
-Stars- sometimes I'll drive out, away from the city at night just to see the stars. Having grown up in a rural area, I miss the clarity of the stars away from the city lights. Also, since I collect stars, I've started a new project with my camera......it's too involved to detail now, but I'll probably post something about it soon!
-College football- in the fall, this will always do the trick!
-Baking- I love to create new recipes!
So, am I an eternal optimist because I feel nothing is so bad I can't find something to shake it off? Maybe. Probably. I'm happy with either. (See, I can't help it!)
I've been accused many times in my life of being silly or frivolous and maybe there have been times when it was true, but more often than not, it was unbridled optimism and enthusiasm that was mistaken for frivolity.
I don't know if I was born optimistic or if it was a trait my incredibly wise mother gradually instilled in me. Most likely it was a mixture of both....the old heredity vs. environment debate. One day I'll write a blog about my mom and her incredible wisdom, but today I'm writing about happiness and finding it when you need it most.
Despite the trouble I've had with my home over the past year and a half, my home is my place of peace and refuge for me. When I need to get away from the stress of the world, that's where I want to be. But, on those rare occasions where my mood turns dark, I pick myself up and get out of the house........I don't want to have bad feelings associated with my time at home, but in turn, I think getting out of the house and finding something to do helps improve my mood so it's a win/win situation!
Once I'm out the door, wondering where to go, this is how I determine what I'll do. I ask myself, "What makes me happy?" And then I do those things. What amazes me, is when I ask other people what makes them happy.....many don't know how to respond. How can that be? (See, even now I'm dumbfounded) Life is what you make it and you can't always wait for happiness to knock on your door......you have to go where you (hopefully) already know it can be found. Here are some of the things that make me happy and where you might find me when I need a little more happiness than usual.
-Glass.....something about the transparency, I think. I'm lucky to live in a city with the largest permanent collection of Dale Chihuly glass. A trip to the OKC Museum will quickly put a smile on my face.
-Roller Skating- I keep my skates in the trunk of my car because I never know when I'll need to roll!
-Books/reading- I might end up at a park with a blanket and a book or at B&N where I can read and have coffee.....either does the trick.
-Family- All of my family is special to me but specifically my nieces and nephews. Nothing cheers me up like talking to them. Hearing them say "I love you" makes everything right with the world.
-Friends- many's the time I've spent long days hangin' with Jess and her family (which is almost like being with family). Anytime spent with a good friend is a good time and I'm blessed to have some incredible friends who always make me happy!
-Singing/Music- whether I sing at the top of my lungs to music in my car or I go for some karaoke, music always sooths my soul.
-Stars- sometimes I'll drive out, away from the city at night just to see the stars. Having grown up in a rural area, I miss the clarity of the stars away from the city lights. Also, since I collect stars, I've started a new project with my camera......it's too involved to detail now, but I'll probably post something about it soon!
-College football- in the fall, this will always do the trick!
-Baking- I love to create new recipes!
So, am I an eternal optimist because I feel nothing is so bad I can't find something to shake it off? Maybe. Probably. I'm happy with either. (See, I can't help it!)
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