Computer Archives: The 21st Century Breakup Box

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" George Santayana

I spent a good portion of my weekend reading through archived emails, messages, IMs and texts from a few past boyfriends. Maybe I'm the only one who keeps correspondence anymore, but just because there are no hard-copy notes and letters these days doesn't mean there isn't a digital version of the stack of letters bound by a ribbon at the end of a relationship.

For the most part, I forget this correspondence is there, but it's good to know I can revisit these things if I ever feel the need. This past week, I've been pushed in the direction of my virtual breakup boxes and have blown the dust (some dustier than others) off the lids and started reading.

I won't lie. Much of it was torturous. But, it was also nice to see that there were plenty of good times worth remembering. And, although it shouldn't have been surprising to me, I was shocked to see such a distinct pattern to the flow of things with Pepe, Sugar D and Baby Boy. It's true that there are times one can't see the forest for the trees and the past 15 years have been dark times in the forbidden forest for me!

But, for as much torture as it was to read through the correspondence, it was equally liberating. Things have changed and I'm on a clear path. It's one that makes me happier than I've been in years and one that I prefer to keep mostly to myself because I'm selfish and I refuse to share it with anyone else. I've sealed the archives once again, but it's good to know they are there so I won't keep repeating the past.

Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks

If I've learned anything over the past 5 years it's that change is inevitable. I've also learned that one should react to change like one should react to a fall: Relax until it's over! Don't try to stop it once it has started or try to break your fall and it will be a lot less painful.

There has been a lot of change in my life over the past 2 weeks and I haven't had time to let my Virgo brain process it all, yet. Some people view all change as bad, some think it's all good but I'm gonna go all Forrest Gump on you and say, "I think it's a little of both, maybe" (although Forrest wasn't talking about change). Because I like to be on the positive/optimistic side of things, I've decided to write about some of the good change.

I remember back in 2006, sitting in my office which was off of the employee break room at B&N. They weren't offering free wireless back then and I had purchased a subscription and allowed the other employees to use it, too. One of my favorite co-workers popped her head into my office one day and told me,

"You should join Facebook."

"What's that?" I asked.

"It's like Myspace, only better."

After a couple of promptings, I sat down and created my account. After adding my current city as a network, I decided to add my university to my networks as well. I entered the name of my college, selected it from the list and clicked "add". Up pops a window!

"Enter your college email address:" [what? Is this a joke? We didn't have email when I was in college!]

My start with Facebook was shaky, but I hung in there and what my friend said proved to be true. It was better than Myspace. I started a campaign to bring all my friends over to Facebook and one-by-one, I wore them down. Facebook is the place I go to find out what's going on in the lives of my friends. A daily read-through of my news feed fills me in on all the good news, the bad news, birthday parties, baseball/soccer/tennis games, graduations, vacations, etc..... and I don't even have to make a single phone call or send any emails.

Last week my trendsetting friend sent me a loophole invite to try Google+, a social networking venture brought to us by.........you guessed it! Google. I've never been a fan of Google because of some of their privacy policies, but let's face it, if one uses the internet on a daily basis, you're giving up some of your privacy, whether you know it or not. So, I plunged in and have been using Google+ for a week.

So far, it's okay. It's very similar to Facebook except much quieter. I'm not ready to start harassing my friends to switch yet and I might not ever but, for now I'm sticking with it because my friend was right about Facebook........she's probably right about this too.

If you want an invite to join Google+ and have a gmail account, let me know and I'll send one to you.

Finally!! A Voice of Reason on the issue of Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice

[WARNING: If you're offended by points of view in contradiction with your own, you may want to skip this blog.]

Frank Schaeffer, author of Crazy for God:How I Grew Up As One Of The Elect, Helped Found The Religious Right, And Lived To Take All (Or Almost All) Of It Back, wrote a fantastic piece posted on Huffington Post entitled, "Frank! As A Former Pro-Life Leader How Dare You Support Pro-Choice Obama?"

One of the things I appreciate most about Mr. Schaeffer's opinion is his background. He was raised in a calvinist home so many of his core beliefs are like mine.

Given the topic of this post and the opinions expressed by Mr. Schaeffer, I feel it would be backhanded of me not to state my own views on the subject. For the record, I'm Pro-Choice. Now....before some of you have an anuerism, let me explain. My choice is that abortion is not the answer for me......regardless of my situation. But, I feel very strongly about every woman having the same opportunity to make the choice she feels is right for her....even if she choses an abortion. Just as I don't want someone forcing their views and values on me, I can't take away another woman's rights and freedoms to make her own decisions about her own life by forcing my views and values on her.

Having grown up in conservative calvinist baptist churches, I realize many, nay most, evangelical christians base their votes on this single issue. If there were more christians like Frank Schaeffer really examining this issue, we really would see change in America.

Even if you disagree with my opinion and views on this heated subject, I ask that you at least read what Mr. Schaeffer has to say. I will be posting several excerpts, but you can read the full article here: http://news.yahoo.com/story//huffpost/20080817/cm_huffpost/119435

Mr. Schaeffer writes to his fellow Pro-Life detractors:

"Yes, I am aware Obama is pro-choice. Yes, I'm still pro-life. I also believe that with Obama in the White House that there will be less abortions in America than with the Republicans in power.

I know rather a lot about the politics of the "life issues." And I know you know that is true because you are calling me a traitor for supporting Senator Obama because of my leadership in the early stages of the pro-life movement.

The pro-life cause poisoned many of us who were part of it. Me included. It led to self-righteous hubris that extended to a general attitude of hate toward the "other." Our cause became all about power over other people, money and the muscle to win elections, not about the good of unborn babies and women.

Even if Roe were reversed (it won't be no matter who is president) the abortion pill and the acceptance of at least some types of legal abortion by most Americans guarantees there will be access to abortion. Besides, on a state-by-state basis abortion would remain legal in most states no matter what the court does. And, as we have seen, the Republicans haven't really changed anything in thirty years.

So what do we who find abortion abhorrent do if we want to deal in reality rather than fantasies and slogans of winner-take-all propaganda? The reality is that we need to foster a climate in which we can reduce the number of abortions and also keep the moral -- rather than legal -- debate alive.

It's the "holistic" approach that is really what's important if our goal is to reduce the number of abortions rather than just "win" political games.

This is all about tone and moral leadership, not law.

At heart of the abortion reality is this: we are a consumerist society with a heart of stone when it comes to the poor, who account for four times the national average of people having abortions, mostly because of economic needs that Republicans don't lift a finger to address. And we still denigrate women and female sexuality.

When it comes to the issue of abortion there is another side besides legality/illegality: the nature of our country.

What kind of care do we provide to mothers and children? What is our educational system like? Is healthcare available to all? Do our preschool programs and everything from paternal and maternal leave to the economic well-being of our country come first? Or do we argue about abortion rights while we live lives of such supreme selfish decadence that the nature of our country means that no matter what we do with the laws about abortion life will not be valued?

The Republican leadership is not pro-life. They are simply against abortion for reasons of political expediency."