"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" George Santayana
I spent a good portion of my weekend reading through archived emails, messages, IMs and texts from a few past boyfriends. Maybe I'm the only one who keeps correspondence anymore, but just because there are no hard-copy notes and letters these days doesn't mean there isn't a digital version of the stack of letters bound by a ribbon at the end of a relationship.
For the most part, I forget this correspondence is there, but it's good to know I can revisit these things if I ever feel the need. This past week, I've been pushed in the direction of my virtual breakup boxes and have blown the dust (some dustier than others) off the lids and started reading.
I won't lie. Much of it was torturous. But, it was also nice to see that there were plenty of good times worth remembering. And, although it shouldn't have been surprising to me, I was shocked to see such a distinct pattern to the flow of things with Pepe, Sugar D and Baby Boy. It's true that there are times one can't see the forest for the trees and the past 15 years have been dark times in the forbidden forest for me!
But, for as much torture as it was to read through the correspondence, it was equally liberating. Things have changed and I'm on a clear path. It's one that makes me happier than I've been in years and one that I prefer to keep mostly to myself because I'm selfish and I refuse to share it with anyone else. I've sealed the archives once again, but it's good to know they are there so I won't keep repeating the past.
