Friday, October 2, 2009

What I know to be Certain

I've been going through a lot of transition over the past year and a half. I don't for an instant think it's over, but at least the majority of it is.

Someday I'll write about what I call the "Pendulum Effect" which always happens when one decides to make changes in one's life. I've written a lot about my non-traditional views on relationships and about how I was making some changes in that area and I've also written about my concerns that my non-traditional views are so ingrained in my being I wouldn't be able to make the changes. I have spent the last year, and more specifically, the last 6 months on a totally different path and I've learned a lot about what I want and what I know to be true and certain.

I'd rather be wanted than needed.
I'd rather be loved than tolerated.
I'd rather know the painful truth than to be placated.
I'd rather walk away from someone I like than to be in something one-sided.

Maybe my virgo ways make me too analytical, but if I've learned anything it's that I have to be true to myself. I learned many, many years ago that I can't live my life to make someone else happy. Life is all about the choices we make and I'm choosing to follow my heart, regardless of how unconventional that path may be.

As I've said before, the Starlight Manifesto covers it all:

It is what it is;
We are what we are;
I can only by myself


Anonymous said...

I totally agree, of course, with everything you've said. Uncertainty and upheaval are never enjoyable, but I'm glad, and proud, that you've made the best of your recent adversity and used it as a learning tool. You are much wiser than I, Obi-Wan:)s

Life with Kaishon said...

Wow. You are so analytical : )
For me, I just can't imagine NOT having Gary. Sometimes I don't like him that much : ) He can drive me crazy for sure. But at the end of the day, I like knowing there is that one person that thinks I am the greatest : ) At least 90 percent of the time! I hope you find complete happiness in this time of sadness : )