Things I've Learned

As my 40th birthday is looming, I've been contemplating how to blog about this impending event. Turning 40 is something I've been anticipating, looking forward to even, since I was 5 years old. I'm not freaked out by the number as an age because I simply don't feel old. In fact, sometimes I feel downright childish! But instead of writing about any of that, I want to write about some things I've learned about myself over the last 5 years. Some of them I may have blogged about, but all are very fresh in my mind and relevant as I approach the milestone of turning 40.

Things I've Learned

Choosing to be happy- My mother was right! Life is what you make it and happiness is a choice. Even when things seemed bleak, throughout it all, I have been happy!


The difference between wants and needs- There are very few things in life which are necessities...everything else is just gravy!

Having a job I love is worth more than any paycheck- Life is too short to mess with a job I dread going to everyday.

Making pathways through emotional walls and allowing myself to be emotionally accessible- This one is fairly new and still a bit scary, but I'm learning and getting better about this each day.

My decade with Pepe wasn't wasted- It taught me the importance of the truth listed right above this one!

My parents are the best parents in the universe- Hands down, I know this is the truth. I'm thankful everyday for the unconditional love they always give me.

My friends are like family- Blood may be thicker than water, but I have the most amazing friends.

I have a novel in me that is a story worth writing- It may take another year to finish it, but I like the story I'm telling and I think there are some who will find it entertaining and enjoyable.

I can only be myself- Okay, I've known this for many years but it's just as true today. Being myself is the only thing I'm really good at.......and I like that just fine!

All-in-all, I'm in a good place as I prepare to start a new decade in my life. I want to live better, give more freely and love more deeply. I guess it helps to be an eternal optimist when looking hopefully into the face of the future, but since Life is what I make it, things will be great!

Maybe She's Just Pieces of Me You've Never Seen.....

October 5th, 1992 at Sooner Theatre in Norman was a life-changing night for me. I sat in the theatre with 818 other people and learned what others meant when they said a concert had been a religious experience. That's what Tori Amos' Little Earthquakes was for me. I loved that album long before that concert experience but that solidified a spot for Little Earthquakes as one of my Top 5 All-time Favorite Albums.

When I listen to Little Earthquakes (and I mean the entire album, not just that song), I need only close my eyes and I am instantly transported back. I can't explain what I was feeling as I watched this intriguing red-head pound the keys of the piano while seductively twisting her body towards the audience. Everyone sat in mesmerized fascination and for 2 hours we were all on the same wave length. Where did she come from and why didn't she get here sooner?

The songs seem timeless to me and I know that's because I love them, but today as I was dealing with lots of emotion, I couldn't get this song out of my head and it seems so poignantly relative to what I was feeling that I had to share it.

[Try the Spotify link first as it's the album version, but if that doesn't work, I've embedded a decent live version. Words to the song are at the very bottom of the blog.]

Tear in Your Hand- Click the title for a link to listen on Spotify!



All the world just stopped now
So you say you don't wanna stay together anymore
Let me take a deep breath babe
If you need me
Me and Neil'll be hangin' out with the dream king
Neil says hi by the way
I don't believe you're leaving
Cause me and Charles Manson like the same ice cream
I think it's that girl
And I think there're pieces of me you've never seen
Maybe she's just pieces of me you've never seen well

All the world is all I am
The black of the blackest ocean
And the tear in your hand
All the world is
Danglin'...danglin' dang-dangalin' for me darlin'
You don't know the power that you have
With that tear in your hand
Tear in you hand

And maybe I ain't used to
Maybes smashing in a cold room
Cutting my hands up every time I touch you
Maybe, maybe it's time to wave goodbye now
Time to wave goodbye now

Caught a ride with the moon
I know, I know you well
Well, better than I used to
haze all clouded up my mind
in the daze of the way it could've never been
So you say and I say
and I know you're full of wish
And your "baby baby baby babies"
I tell you there're pieces of me you've never seen
Maybe she's just pieces of me you've never seen

All the world is all I am
The black of the blackest ocean
And that tear in your hand
All the world is
dangin'...Dangling'...dang-Danglin' for me darlin'
You don't know the power that you have
With that tear in your hand
Tear in you hand
With that tear in you hand