Monday, July 27, 2009

Alone Time

"I want to know
if you can be alone with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments."

From The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Do you like yourself? Are you able to be alone and still be happy?

I've been thinking a lot lately about this particular topic and have discussed it with several of my friends. In fact, it's something I've felt a deep connection with for many years. I firmly believe one can't expect to find happiness in someone else. I think liking oneself is a necessity and far too many people I know have never even stopped to consider "do I like myself?".

I know I've learned more about myself and my personal relationships in the times I'm alone- still and surrounded by silence. Maybe it's because I'm an analytical virgo, but I cannot imagine not having the quiet moments to look at and understand what's going on with my life. I don't have all the answers and I can't control what happens, but I know I'm far more likely to come to a better conclusion in the quiet, alone times than I am if I'm constantly on the go.

I don't mean to always sound like the eternal optimist, but a tiger can't change it's stripes and I'm so very happy these days. you like yourself? Are you able to be alone and still be happy?

If you want to read The Invitation in it's entirety, go here.


Jessica said...

I haven't thought of that poem in years... I forgot how wonderful it is. And to answer your question, yes, I do like myself:) And man oh man, how I would LOVE to have some time with myself soon. (I'm counting down till hunting season...maybe the kids will want to go again, LOL!!!)

Jessican said...

I NEED to have moments alone in contemplation and solitude. I prefer to take these moments in nature and, being from Colorado, I love to spend hours alone in the mountains. It's tough to find quiet time to listen to yourself in the city.

I think you are right on when speak of not finding happiness in others.

stargurrl13 said... was so good to see you last week! I always wish your visits could be longer!

Sorry my loner tendencies manifested themselves over the cookout thing :/ I'm beginning to think I'm a "high functioning recluse" lol

Jennifer said...

I do like myself, but I am not able to be alone and be happy. While in middle school, I struggled with liking myself. I had a horrible self-image. I spent much of my time wondering why some people didn't like me. After years of struggle, I came to know that my worth was not to be found in other people - my worth comes from God.

All that said, I still hate being alone. I spent many lonely weekends during college in my apartment by myself, and I hated the silence. Silence seems so much quieter when no one else is in the house with me. But I enjoy early rainy mornings like this one, when I am the only one awake. I have silence, but I have the comfort that my family is with me. The silence refreshes me. I need it because my son is only quiet when he sleeps.

I believe God created me for my husband. He knew it would not be good for either of us to be alone. Where I am weak, my husband is strong, and I have strengths where he has weaknesses. It's cliche, but we truly complete each other. Either of us would only be half without the other. My happiness is dependent upon him. Don't get me wrong, not every day of our marriage has been hunky-dory. He has brought me his share of grief, too. Ultimately, the joy of the Lord is our strength, but he and I are a team. And I am happy that way.