Alone Time

"I want to know
if you can be alone with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments."

From The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Do you like yourself? Are you able to be alone and still be happy?

I've been thinking a lot lately about this particular topic and have discussed it with several of my friends. In fact, it's something I've felt a deep connection with for many years. I firmly believe one can't expect to find happiness in someone else. I think liking oneself is a necessity and far too many people I know have never even stopped to consider "do I like myself?".

I know I've learned more about myself and my personal relationships in the times I'm alone- still and surrounded by silence. Maybe it's because I'm an analytical virgo, but I cannot imagine not having the quiet moments to look at and understand what's going on with my life. I don't have all the answers and I can't control what happens, but I know I'm far more likely to come to a better conclusion in the quiet, alone times than I am if I'm constantly on the go.

I don't mean to always sound like the eternal optimist, but a tiger can't change it's stripes and I'm so very happy these days.

So.....do you like yourself? Are you able to be alone and still be happy?

If you want to read The Invitation in it's entirety, go here.

Soul Mates

I can already hear some of the grumbling from the peanut gallery, "Soul mates??? Puh-shaw!" That's fine.....I realize there are many who either don't believe in soul mates or feel uncomfortable with the term, but that's what I'm here for: to blog about things you might not otherwise consider. Okay.....so, that's probably NOT the reason I blog, but it sounds good.

I've expressed my views on soul mates to many over the years, but haven't actually ever tried to put it into words. So much of what I believe and feel is instinctual....seemingly wrapped up in my genetic make-up it's hard to convey to others. But I will try....Oh, I will try!

First of all it's important to note I don't think there is just one soul mate for each person, but rather several. But, I also believe there is one, true and perfect match for everyone. [I'm sure this comes as a surprise to some given my propensity to be a loner.] Believe me....I know this seems like a contradiction, but bear with me.....I'll try to clear it all up for you!

I'm sure everyone has had the experience of meeting someone and instantly feeling a connection. Love for the same authors, music, cars, vacation spot, sports team......all manner of things bring people together. Those people can be, and probably are, your soul mates. They may be in your life for a short time or might end up being a life-long friend, but the common bonds of those connections make the span of time irrelevant.

I also believe a soul mate can also be a relative. Think about it......do you "gel" better with your mother? Are you closer to one sibling than all the others? What about that cousin who's like a brother or sister? Probably a soul mate. The dictionary defines a soul mate as a person with whom one has a strong affinity. I think, over the years, the term has been distorted into being synonymous with one, true love.......but that's untrue and an unfortunate misinterpretation of the word.

So, you're still not buying it? Well, close your eyes and imagine a perfectly still pool of water. Above that pool, the hand of fate and destiny holds a pebble. At just the precise moment (because you all know I believe nothing happens by accident), the pebble is dropped. The result? A perfect illustration of the different types of soul mates.

At the point of impact is yourself and your one true and perfect match. No, really..... just think about the pebble and the divot it creates on impact.......can't get much closer than that without being one, can you?

As the ripples progress outward, they symbolize the other levels of soul mates......the closer the ring is to the point of impact, the greater the bond with the soul mate. As you get farther from the center, the less the bond is. But, just because the outer circles have a weaker bond, they are still unequivocally connected to the initial pebble's impact.


So, there is my soul mate theory. Do you agree? Disagree? Do you have a theory of your own? I'd like to know!

Amy

Since I started blogging in 2006 (way back when my blog was located on myspace), I've written tributes to and told many-a-story about the blessings my friends bring to my life. I'm not so sure I'm really deserving of all the great friends in my life but, I certainly hope it makes me extra appreciative of them.

Today, I'm blogging about my friend, Amy. I met her through a previous job and am continually grateful for the kind of friend she has turned out to be.


Here are some fun and interesting facts about me and Amy:

- Dave Chappelle brought us together

- We are in a band called "Break Dancing Whammies" (never mind we've never had even ONE band practice.....one day we'll get it off the ground!)

- We both understand how extremely funny and witty we are (never mind the fact most of the universe doesn't recognize it)

- We'd date ourselves if we could.....we're just that AWESOME ;)

- We workout most evenings together at the Y (solidarity, Sister!)

- We're a lot a like

- We're a lot different

- We share a fascination about serial killers

- We share a fascination of man's infatuation with the "psycho-girl"

- Spending time together is almost like being alone


Over a year and a half, lots of things can happen. With Amy, though, it's not the major life events which stick out as the stuff which has strengthened our friendship. No, the glue to our friendship is the everyday things which most would think mundane, I'm sure......(I refer you back to the list above.....we understand how funny/witty we are).


Amy is the friend who understands how GENIUS it is to make a catapult out of a fork and business card just so we can launch food at a glass office wall.


Amy is the friend who can remember obscure lines from movies but can't remember a conversation from 2 hours earlier. Amy is the friend who will dance on her desk at work after everyone has left because I think it would make a good pic (oh, and she agrees with that as well).


Amy is the friend who understands and shares my love for mind numbingly funny YouTube videos like NigaHiga, Retarted Policeman and countless others we love (Leeeeeeeeeerooooooooooy Jeeeeeeeeeeenkiiiiiiins!).

Amy is the friend who understands my neurotic fear of the unknown and constantly plays Devil's Advocate to my crazy, virgo ways. Amy is the friend who quotes lines from Pulp Fiction and The Princess Bride in righteous opposition to a dive bombing bird who is only trying to protect his home. Amy is the friend who went with me to my first and only "Prom".


And.......Amy is the friend who would move with me if my life ever took me away from OKC and who would beg me to move with HER if her life took her away from here, as well. [And.....I'd go to great lengths and distances to visit her if we ever found ourselves living in different places.....and I just assume everyone who knows her should feel that way was well....'cause she's just that AWESOME!]


Amy and I talk a lot......sometimes about very weighty world matters.....other times it's just about all those stories of cats nursing pandas or dogs nursing tigers, but whatever the subject matter, this one thing I know: I am so lucky to have become such good friends with her.


Thanks Aim-Dawg, you're the best!


ps.....Tommy says to tell you, "hi"! ;)