Saturday, January 3, 2009

Set in My Ways?

I have so much I'd like to blog about, but I don't have the time......I really shouldn't even be stopping to post this, but it has been 5 days since my last post I decided to write something quickly and then get back to work.

Why so busy? I'm clearing a room and 2 closets for a refugee who's coming to live with me for an indefinite amount of time.

Before you think how charitable I am, it's not a refugee from Darfur or the Sudan, but rather a friend who has no where to go.

This friend has always been there for me and I'm happy to help, but I can deny I'm nervous about the whole situation. I won't go into all the reasons I'm feeling anxious about it, but instead will focus on my almost fanatical need to have total privacy and my own space. I've shared living space successfully in the past with two wonderful friends with whom I'm still in contact to this day.......but 37 years of age, I've become so set in my ways.

I love to be social and hang out with my friends, but at the end of the day, I can go to my house and enjoy total solitude. I can take off every stitch of clothing and walk around naked all day on the weekends, but all that will have to change. I could easily become a recluse, but I haven't gotten that bad, yet. I'm not so sure I'd be this anxious if I hadn't just come out the most challenging time of my life. 2008 brought more than enough change to last me a decade and I was sure that things were back to normal when I finally went back to work........WRONG!

I knew it was a possibility I'd be providing refuge for this friend, but it came much more suddenly and with no flexibility to give me time to prepare properly. Instead I have been up since 5:30 am to start making room in other parts of my home for furniture and possessions.

I really hope I'm not too set in my ways and this living arrangement ruins a friendship :(


Jessican said...

Yeah, I am with you on this one. I mean, I even have trouble when people are just visiting. I like to have my place as...well JUST my place.

Good luck and I am sure it will work out. Maybe you will find that your refugee isn't around a whole lot.

Jennifer said...

Walk around naked on weekends? Please! WAY too much information, girl!

Jessica said...

Just a few things in response to this blog.

1. I'm proud of you for even inviting this "refugee" to come live with you. I know how solitary you can be, so I know this is a HUGE step for you.

2. I really don't feel that this situation has the potential to ruin your friendship. You guys go wayyyyy back, and have been thru so much together. I think it actually has the potential to do good things for both of you. And Lord only knows that this dear friend could use some stability at times:)

3. And you always know that if you feel the need to escape, you can always come hang with us. Granted, it will not be somewhere where you can be alone, LOL, but sometimes kids' help provide a little levity to your day. And I hope that if you feel the need to de-stress, you will know you can come visit the J House.

Best of luck to you.. & let me know if you need some of "our husband's" muscle for the move:)

Brian W. said...

I did this a couple of years ago with a friend and then for my sister-in-law. First of all: you're a saint. But we already knew that, right?

Second: rules are important and I'm not just saying that because I am a total Nazi. Rules are important. Just be very up-front about what you need and expect. After all, it's still you're home.

I know it'll all be groovy...

Jennifer said...

I've been there, too. My husband and I took in a friend until he could find a place to live. We had only been married a couple of years. No privacy for newlyweds. He finally overstayed his welcome, and we were forced to ask him to leave. Felt terrible. He left town, and we lost touch. Still wonder what happened to him ...

Life with Kaishon said...

How kind of you to help. Even at the expense of your own fears. LOVE that about you.

Now about the naked? ARE YOU SERIOUS? I don't think it was TMI, but I am in awe. I can barely get naked when I have too. It is just my LEAST FAVORITE thing in the whole world...

I hope I am cool like you someday!

No baby yet. Kaish found it in the garage and brought it in. He said he wants a baby to go in it. ME TOO! So I am leaving it there for a while so Gary will be motivated : ). I know I would get tired of looking at an empty bassinet after a while. Maybe I should move it to our bedroom!

I missed you too. I want you to move to Philadelphia with me. You can invade all of my space : ). And, Gary would LOVE to have a girl walking around the house naked :).

Jessican said...

YES! I am with Rebecca....Move to Phili... that is much closer! Hell, move to DC! You know you wanna ; )

Life with Kaishon said...

How is the whole refugee situation coming?