I'd like to preface this blog with a few facts about me and my personality traits (or qwirks might be a more appropriate word).
-I am a virgo.
-I am a planner.
-If I say I will do something, I will do it, come hell or high water, unless I'm in the hospital.
-If something does happen and I can't keep a committment (which is a rarity), I'll make sure an explanation and an appology is given.
-I hate it when people do things that force me to change my plans at the last minute.
With that out of the way, here are some things that have been causing me lots of frustration lately.
In the past 2 weeks, several of my friends have made committements to either go out with our cozy, little group of friends, help me with a project or just hang out with me.....and then they flake out at the last minute. Most times without even a phone call, let alone an explanation.
I fully realize that it's impossible to make it through life and never have to cancel something you've planned, but I'm talking about those people who make a habit of flaking out. In my mind, there's a simple solution: If you think there's a possibility you won't be able to keep your committment, just keep your mouth shut and don't tell me you're going to be there to help me or hang out with me.
A recent example:
[a re-enactment of a recent conversation]
Friend A: Hey, Heather! What are you doing Friday night? If you're free, we should go check out that new restaurant.
Me: Oh, that would be great! I'm actually free this Friday!
Friend A: Okay, call me when you get home from work Friday and we'll figure out when to meet.
Me: Okay, I'll call you Friday.
So.....when I called on Friday, I got the good ol' voice mail and I leave a message saying I'm home and am ready to make plans about meeting. I even send a text message.
Guess when I finally got a phone call from Friend A? Two weeks later when Friend A called to share some good news with me. When I asked Friend A about the dropped dinner plans from 2 weeks earlier (after the appropriate congratulations were given for the good news), Friend A said, "Oh.....I got busy".
Really?!? It was Friend A's idea in the first place! AND......why couldn't Friend A call me or text me that evening and tell me that dinner would no longer fit into the schedule?!? I don't have many free Friday nights and sitting at home waiting (with a growling tummy, I might add) for a call back is not the way I wanted to spend my evening.
The other frustrating thing is friends who make plans with you, call to cancel the original plans and reschedule. Then they call and cancel the rescheduled plans and re-reschedule the plans......and on and on and on. All the while, the plans never actually happen. Seriously....if you don't want to hang out or are too busy to hang out, just say it. People who habitually cancel (even if they call) just confuse and frustrate me.
Here's another example:
Friend B: Hey....do you want to come have a drink with me after work?
Me: Sorry, I can't tonight, I've got some sewing to do.
Friend B: Really? You can't come for a little while?
Me: No, I really need to get this done and I know that "one drink" will turn into a 3-hour gab-fest. I'll have to pass. I'll be going out Friday after work, 6-10, you're welcome to join me.
Friend B: Okay! I'll be there!
[fast forward to Friday]
Text message from Friend B: Hey, I got caught up in a project. How late are you going to be out?
Text from me: Until 10pm
Text from Friend B: Only 10? I don't think I can make it. I'm still going to help you tomorrow. What time do you need me?
Text from me: 6pm
Text from Friend B: Ok!
[fastforward to Saturday]
Text from Friend B: This project is taking longer than I thought. I don't think I'll be able to come out tonight either.
Text from me: But I thought you were going to help me.......
Text from Friend B: I was but I've just got so much to do. I need to stay home. I might be able to make it there by 10pm.
Text from me: Don't bother coming out. Stay home and do your stuff. I'll find someone to take your place.
Am I just being overly sensitive?
Maybe I'm being too idealistic. Maybe it's not as cut and dried as I think, but what happened to honesty and common courtesy?
Needless to say, it has been a very frustrating month. I hope August is better as far as plans with friends go!