Finally...My First Blog of 2010

I'm not really sure how to explain my lack of blogging over the past few months. One would think it would be easier to blog with so much "free time" on my hands, but that's just not the case. I really am an optimistic person and I'm convinced I have an over abundance of serotonin. The over abundance makes it virtually impossible for me to experience depression...even the common depression most people call the "blues". Lately though, I'm wondering if my inability to blog might be my version of the "blues".

Of course, if that's the worst I feel when I've been unemployed for 4 and a half months and am on the verge of losing the grip I have on the last bit of semblance of my former life, you'll not hear me complain. But, then again, maybe my lack of blogging comes from one of the many wise lessons my very wise mother taught me......"Heather, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."

I know her words of wisdom are meant to keep one from saying mean and ugly things to another, but I feel it also helps one deal with difficult times in life if one chooses to filter all the bad things going on through this wise truth. Anyway, everyone knows I've always got some hair-brained theory bumping around in my noggin.....I guess this is just the latest.

Other things which have been on my mind are much weightier topics of which I'm unsure about being ready to discuss. Not because I don't want to share them yet, but rather, because I feel I need to do a bit more research to be as informed as I can before I possibly reveal my ignorance to the blogosphere. However, I don't mind throwing the subject matter out there so it can begin to marinate in one's mind as I begin to put my ducks in a row to write about these things.

Currently on my mind:

The homeless: How and where do they go to survive the bitter cold? Are some shelters more dangerous than others or are they all equally dangerous? How does one apply for jobs with no phone or address? Our attitude toward the homeless and unemployed: perception vs. reality.

Resources for single people with NO children: Why are there no government programs outside of unemployment for those who have chosen to be responsible and not get knocked up? Where do single people go when they have no where else to turn?

I know there are more topics which will probably come about once I delve into the research on these things, but for now, this is what I'll be working on. I've been hesitant to take on these topics as it might be hard to keep my optimistic approach given the subject matter, but as I'm an optimistic person and I'll be drawing on some of my own experiences, I think I'll be able to keep it on the optimistic side of things. I'm trying to boost awareness, not depress people.

I always welcome your comments and posts, but if you feel you have something to share and want to keep it between you and me, just send me a message.

Until the next blog.........grace and peace to you all.

The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow? or It's Raining, It's Pouring?

I couldn't decide on the title for this blog. The first one is definitely more optimistic, but the latter seems to be much more appropriate for the situation. The blog I've been waiting to write was one where I would tell of the 2 interviews I had before Thanksgiving and about how well they went.

I did have 2 interviews before Thanksgiving and both went very well. I knew it would be a few days before I heard anything, but I was counting on the 50-50 odds that one of the interviews would turn into an actual job.

Yesterday I got an e-mail fairly early in the day saying that one of the places had decided to go with another applicant after a coming to a "difficult decision". It wasn't the best news, but I had another option still out there.

While I was chatting with my friend and having a pretty good day, my landlord of 4 years called and told me he sold the house I'm living in............I was floored! My relatively good mood totally faded and I started to have a meltdown. Although I've been stressing over how I was going to come up with rent for the month of December, the prospects of dealing with a new landlord who doesn't know me and has no reason to try and work with me on my rent situation until I'm back to work were not pleasant. And I can't imagine what I'll do if the new landlord wants the property vacant and gives me a 30 day notice to move out! I just kept holding onto the fact that there was still the second job that might come through.

About 20 minutes after hearing about the house, I got an e-mail about the second job. E-mails are never the way one offers a job........well, almost never. Anyway, that job was offered to another applicant as well.

So.......this morning I will be scouring all the job sites once again for any sort of new postings and apply for anything I even remotely qualify for. It's hard to keep a good attitude and I appreciate all the people who kindly say, "it'll all work out, you'll find something", but it's so hard to hear that after 8 weeks! And, as much as I hate to admit it, I find absolutely no comfort in words like that......it's very easy to utter cliches like those from a nice, bright office where one goes to work everyday.

One thing that has come from all of this........a new compassion for people who are homeless. It only takes one bad break to start the wheels in motion. Now when I pass people who are sitting with their possessions in a cart I can see myself. Oh, I know I won't be homeless.....I have too many friends who will let me couch surf for that to happen, but I know there are plenty of homeless people with college degrees and marketable (whatever that means) skills who just couldn't catch a break and they landed on the street.

I really, really need to catch a break!