My mother tells a story about when I was 4 years old. There was a gathering of adults from the church we attended and most of the couples had small children who were playing together while the adults sat and talked. As with most of these gatherings, I preferred to stay with the adults and follow the conversation (as best I could at such a young age). At this particular gathering, I decided to interject some of my own observations. The actual observations have been lost with time and memory loss, but they were amazingly accurate and it seemed to really freak out most of the other adults. At some point in the evening, one of the men came over and told my mother, "Keep an eye on that girl......she knows things and has a gift. She can read people better than most adults I know".
Thus went most of my childhood. I can "read" people and have always been able to do so. When I was young, I thought everyone could do it, but quickly learned that wasn't the case. I also learned to keep many observations to myself because of the "freak-out factor". Hearing a six, seven or eight year make accurate statements about a virtual stranger's character or motivations is disconcerting to most. I knew I was odd, but I didn't want to be looked at as a freak.
I want to be clear about my instincts.....I'm not saying I'm psychic. I can't see the future or predict what will happen, I can just tell a lot about a person and their personality and character within minutes of first meeting them. That's it. It's not a judgmental thing, it's just a thing. And I'm almost always correct.
Because of this ability, I can tell within minutes of meeting a guy whether or not I would be interested in going out with him. I know this seems judgemental, but it's not. I have very definite ideas about what I want in a man and I'm not willing to compromise those things. Very few men actually fit the bill, so when I do meet one who does, it's exciting. But, on the other side of the coin is when I meet a man who's interested in me, I already know within minutes if I want to go out with him......usually, I'm not interested and that makes it difficult sometimes. Believe me....it would be easier on me if I could agree to go out with one of them and see what time would tell, but I don't know if spending more time to get to know these men would change my mind any. But, I've never tested that theory. Mainly because there's usually something that keeps me from wanting to get to know him.
I guess I'm wondering if anyone else does this? I've grown so used to trusting my first impressions it's hard for me to imagine anyone would operate differently. I guess my one exception to my first impression is with friendship. But when it comes to attraction, I don't think I'll ever be willing to compromise.
2 comments:
My husband think I'm a freak, too. He once asked my why I didn't like certain friends of his. Apparently, his friends didn't feel comfortable around me either because I was projecting my negative feelings, despite my efforts to be polite. I guess mere politeness just isn't enough. My answer was that I "just don't have a good feeling about them."
In almost every case, each of them has turned out to be a real loser. One of them turned out to be truly ill - a schizophrenic who called our answering machine, accusing David of things from a conversation which never occurred and admitting that he had "taken care" of a friend of ours and could do that to David, too. Thankfully, for our family's safety, David kept him at arm's length and didn't give him our new number when we moved.
Now, David sometimes relies on my uncanny ability after meeting someone new. My opinion is important to him because I am so often right. He just hates to admit that I am right.
And, I have another superpower - I can make children laugh.
This is interesting. I think you are probably saving yourself a lot of headaches : ). I am a pretty good judge of character, but it does take me a couple of interactions to tell.
I think of you all the time when I pass tax stands or see tax commercials : ).
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